An American Point of View

I asked her what she thought about what is currently happening in this country. "I don't understand American (as in the language), so I don't know what's really going on." Lol! "Yeah," I agreed, "I don't understand American either." I tried to explain a bit of it to her, to which she explained carefully back to me, "This may be our country now, but it is not our land. We will always be guests."

My mother is an American citizen, living in a country, her country, where she will always feel like a guest. She remembers fleeing Laos, a country she was born into. She fears for me, "When are you going to get your American citizenship?"

One Person at a Time

Politics belong to the politicians. Protests belong to the protesters. Marches belong to the marchers. It's not for everyone. (It's not for me.) I searched a long time for my weapon of choice, and I am happy with my decision. I am a volunteer at women's shelters, at homeless shelters, at wherever they can use me. It's the frontlines; it's where I feel I can best affect change. It's not glorious, not full of powerful words or chants, or witty signs. It's hard, it's dirty, it's lonely, and you will have to beg for help & money more times than you'd like. But it's humbling, and in this life I have chosen to witness the humility of mankind. I've found that it exists deep down inside of us when we think we've nothing left to give. I see it every time I volunteer. We're all not politicians, we're all not protesters, we're all not marchers, but in the end, we do know where we belong and we do have to make a choice on how best we choose to fight for what we believe in.

Compassion

My only resolution this year: to live a more compassionate life. As parents, compassion is one of the virtues we wish to teach our children. I hope. What I've learned, though, is that when it comes to compassion, and all the other paradigms of virtue, we can't teach it. We can only show it & practice it, and especially grace it upon them as well. Through witnessing it, may they become compassionate individuals themselves, may they appreciate it when they need it, and most importantly, may they recognize it when they receive it.

From Me To You

To all my little nieces & nephews: you are so beautiful & strong in your own different ways. You're all coming of age, and I just want to share a few words to wish you well on your journey. It's long, but be patient, and maybe save it for when you need a few words of encouragement.

Embrace It All:
There will be good days, bad days, sad days, mad days, awesome days and incredibly hard days, but you should walk out there and experience them all. You are the sum total of your experiences, so live a full life and cherish even the bad days b/c they teach you to appreciate the good days.

Don't Be Afraid: 
The world can seem like a big & scary place, but it is also awe-inspiring and breathtaking. You may meet monsters, but you will also meet heroes & angels; don't be afraid to recognize them. Someday you may be someone else's angel, so look out for each other, and never give up.

It's OK to Fail: 
You will fail more times than not, but don't be afraid to fail. Failure can teach you some of life's most valuable lessons. Just remember, though, that sometimes you just made a bad decision, so own up to it & move on.

Acknowledge Your Successes: 
If we're afraid of failure, we're even more afraid of success, but success comes in many different shapes & sizes. No matter how great or small your success is, celebrate it. Remember it for those days when you are too hard on yourself.

Be Vulnerable: 
If you don't know the answer, admit it. If you need help, ask for it. You'll never know how strong you really are until you know how strong you really are not. Vulnerability is good because it reminds you of all the things you can't do so that you can excel at all the things you can do.

Respect Life: 
Live life to the fullest, but remember that God can take it away in a second. Always buckle-up, always wear a helmet, don't drink & drive, don't do drugs, have a back-up plan. Trust your instincts, and if your gut tells you no, listen to it.

Be Humble: 
No matter how smart, beautiful, talented, or awesome you are, someone else will always be better at it. Don't let that diminish your self-esteem. Acknowledge those who are better than you and help those who may be struggling. You'll never know when you'll need their help.

Be Comfortable in Your Own Skin: 
It's ok to tell people no. It's ok to tell people they've hurt you. It's ok to walk away. One day you will do what's best for you and you will stand alone, and in those moments you will understand what it means to be worthy of your life.

Forgive: 
Whether it is a friend, a family member, a stranger, or even yourself, learn to forgive them. Forgiveness is not an act so great that only God can bestow it; we can forgive each other, and so we should. Peace only comes to those who do not hold grudges.

Let God Love You: 
There will be times when you will not want to share anything with anyone, but God will still know. Let him be your best friend, and he will make the good times even better. Let him walk with you, and he will guide you through even the darkest times. He knows you better than you know yourself, and he will always love you even when you think there is nothing left to love.

Dear 2016

I think it's time for us to break up. We've been together for almost 365 days, and you've broken my heart more times than I'd like to admit. You've made me feel so helpless that there have been times I found myself sitting in the dark counting my own heartbeats because it's the only thing I could do. I've had to stifle my joy on many occasions because happy moments only brought on sad happy tears. I don't think I've cried this much in a year since I was a baby. Don't get me wrong, there were happy times too, and even times that I think we're going to be ok, but then you break my heart all over again. You haven't been the worst; you didn't teach me anything. You're not even a rebound; we didn't share pleasurable moments or painful secrets. You're like the storm I saw coming and couldn't escape. You kicked my butt, but I weathered it, and now it's time to move on. Let's be honest, 2016, if I don't break up with you first, you would eventually leave me. Quite frankly, I'd like to beat you to it because you deserve to know that even though you've hurt me, you haven't broken me. I'm looking forward to 2017. He might not be better. He might even be worse. But at least he won't be you. Goodbye, 2016. May the door hit you on the way out.

Empathy

I had a disturbing conversation last night about empathy, and it's been on my mind all night. It kind of broke my heart, but I understand that everyone is managing their madness differently. I know it's hard to empathize, but here's how I see it.

Raise your hand if you have never said a racist thing in your life? Or thought a bigoted thought? Or made fun of someone you felt were lesser than you? Raise your hand if you have not sat idly by while some (no matter how few) of your family & friends committed those very same hateful acts that you abhor in Trump & abhor in those strangers. I know I cannot. That is empathy.

Start there. Start with the ones you love (that includes yourself). Protect them by making sure they too aren't spreading the hate. Teach the them it is wrong to hate & act out in hate. Next time you hear a loved one say hateful things, tell them it's wrong. Next time you say a hateful thing, remember that: This kind of hate, it belongs to us all.

Then, help the strangers. Not the ones who hate you, but the ones who need you. Volunteer at your local organizations that protect those against hate, but first do your homework & make sure their efforts & beliefs are aligned with your own, whatever that may be.

And, finally, if you don't know what your own efforts & beliefs are, now is the time to figure it out; YOU figure it out. Do not let others tell you what your efforts are, and what you believe in. You may find that the very people who you've been working so hard against is very much like you.

That is empathy. That may not be how you see it, but that is how I see it.

We Humans

Please stop spreading the hate. I know we may all be scared & frightened and the future may seem uncertain, but it is still yet to come. Do not do something today that you will regret tomorrow. It may very well be something you might not recover from.

Please remember we are intelligent beings who can hold many differing views and still function. I believe in God & religion, and I believe in science & evolution. I believe in spirituality, and I believe in technology. I believe that life is linear & cyclical at the same time, and that time itself may very well be just a paradox that we are imprisoned in. I believe in the existence of heaven & hell, and I believe in the phenomenon of reincarnation. I believe that the universe is so massive that we cannot possibly be alone, and I believe that we are very much alone. I believe in kindness & I believe in madness. I believe that we have to save our own damn selves, and I believe that I have seen angels save you and me. What I don't believe in is that God put us here so that we can confine ourselves to being only as good as we have always been, yesterday, everyday. I believe that we are capable of so many great things. Is it too much for me to believe that we cannot dredge up a little empathy to offer each other?

"For all our failings, despite our limitations and fallibilities, we humans are capable of greatness."

- Carl Sagan